Running regrets

So today I didn't run.  I had the time, it was a clear, sunny day, but I didn't run.  I did everything else but run.  I did the dishes, washed some clothes, wrote another blog post, checked my email, and did some PTA stuff.  I figured there would be time later in the day, when I took my daughter to swim team practice.  But then she came home from school with a headache.  Or maybe she was faking to get out of swim team practice.  There were tears.  She took a 2 hour nap.  We didn't go to practice and I didn't get to work out.

It is 8:14pm.  I am still in my running clothes and shoes from 7am this morning.  Do I even shower at this point or just call it a day?  I won't be able to run tomorrow because I am volunteering with something called "Camp Flintlock" at the girls' elementary school.  I guess it will be the day after tomorrow that I will be able to run.

My half marathon is one month away.  I ran 9 miles on Saturday.  It wasn't easy, but parts of it felt really good.  Just about every time I get ready to run, I wonder, why I am doing this.  Today I guess I let the doubts get in the way.  I could just stop.  Just stop running and stop trying.  But then I think about how far I've come, really on my own this time.  I' m not running with a group or even with a friend.  Do I like running?  Sometimes I do.  Sometimes I really don't.  Why am I running?  To lose weight, to get in shape, to GET FIT.  But it doesn't seem like any of that is happening as fast as I would like.

Motivation comes and goes.  See you day after tomorrow, running shoes.